“Please don’t Lou” Harry said as he grabbed Louis’s wrist, holding him back from where he was heading.
“What else do you want me to do Haz, I mean look at me I’m so fat. You don’t deserve me. You deserve someone you can be proud of presenting to absolutely anyone and they would be stunned and wonder ‘how did you ever get this boy’. But guess what Harry, they don’t. I’m basic. Actually, I’m worse than basic. I’m fucking hideous” Louis didn’t know if it was because he was light headed or because he kind of gave up. He couldn’t even stand, his knees got week and he collapsed on the floor.
“NO YOU’RE NOT!” Harry screamed, voice weak. He crawled to Louis’s side, where he was balled up, arms around his knees. He lifted Louis’s chin up and with his voice much softer he said “you are the most beautiful man I’ve ever seen. You shine above anyone and everyone”. I love you so fucking much, I don’t think you understand”
“How can you love someone like me?” His eyes we swollen red, they weren’t the clear shade of blue ocean Harry loved to lose himself into, they were darker, pupils dilated, as if he lost the boy he fell in love with. He hadn’t been himself for weeks. The optimistic, fun-loving, happy Louis that everyone knew and loved started to fade away. Harry noticed, he tried to help him like Louis tried to help him when he was the one getting the hate messages.
Harry knew how it felt but he knew it was worse. Louis didn’t want anyone to talk about it, he didn’t want help. He let all the hate get to him and he actually started to believe what they said. He has always known he wasn’t the stereotypical super star with the muscles and the no-acne face, he wasn’t tall or ‘manly’ but he was okay with that, his family and friends loved him the way he was plus he had a beautiful boyfriend that actually cared for him. He tried to ignore it and push it away but it all somehow got too much for him to handle. He felt like a foul person who makes up for his bad looks with his personality but even that got shut down. He felt left out and unloved.
“What? Do you mean a person that’s smart, adores kids specially his little sisters, loves his fans, loves his family and friends with a passion, funny, who can sass out anyone, whose angelic voice sooths any agony I may have when they sing to me, is so damn passionate about everything he does and-”
“That’s all personality Haz, everyone only cares about what’s on the outside ” Louis interrupted
“That is not true Boobear” Harry whined. “I love you for you, inside and out”
“You cute when you lie, babes” Louis gave a sad little chuckle.
“I’m not lying. Baby, I love absolutely everything about you. I love your stubble” Harry ran his hand across it. “You beautiful blue eyes that make me lose focus and pull me into the loveliness. Your brown lush hair” He dug his hands into Louis’s hair and lightly pulled bringing their forehead together. “Your biceps. GOD they drive me crazy. Your hands, which might I add do wonders to me” He half-smiled. “I even adore your little chest hairs. You’re so sensitive there Boo.” Kissing his forehead, Louis hiccuped “Your laugh, lighting up an entire room in a second. Your glorious bum” His brushed his lips against the other boy’s, kissed away the tears that fell down his cheeks. “But do you know what’s my favorite part of your body? I am in outright awe with your ‘Tommo’ tummy as our Directioners call it”
“No you’re not Harry. Stop trying to make me feel better about myself by telling me lies. I’ll never be good enough for you Harry. Don’t you understand that.” he was in tears again. He got up ready to lock himself in the bathroom, ready to do what he’s been wanting to do in the past couple months but never had the time.
“I’M NOT LYING!!” before Louis could take one step forward, Harry grabbed his wrist once more but this time didn’t let go but brought the older boy into a hug, burying his face into his hair, giving little pecks with each breath. “I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you.” Each time he said it, his voice broke more and more until he was crying, hardly able to speak. “Why. Cant. You. Understand. That”
“Haz please don’t cry”
“I can’t help it Boo. I’m not okay if you’re not okay. I’m not happy if you’re not happy. Lou you’re my everything. It’s killing me to see the way you hate yourself. You are an unconditional perfect being. To me and to everyone else. Inside and out. Just please”
“I’m trying to understand but I just can’t see it. But I will tell you this Haz, I won’t read any more of those messages and if I ever feel sad about anything I will tell you. Is that okay with you?”
“It’s perfect to me, just like you”
“I love you so much Harry”
“I think I love you more Louis”